I gave birth to my first child — a daughter — in New York City in April of 2020, just after the start of the pandemic. Yes, the experience was terrifying, but almost as terrifying was deciding on her name.
I was fairly confident with the choice of her first name. But when it came to choosing a middle name for my first daughter (and later, for my second), I wanted to give myself time to think and to dream about my offspring's identity and legacy. Middle names are often viewed as the name of lesser importance, but I wanted my choices to be a gateway for both discovering and for remembering their center, or rather, the core of their being.
I wanted to choose something that reflected my love of mother nature and could also serve as a guidepost for my child. I also didn't want my daughter to feel that she had to live up to someone else's life or influence by naming her after another person. And I loved the idea of her having a physical place that she could go to and revisit throughout her life — even with her own children and grandchildren, someday — that she'd feel she had a personal stake in.
I thought about all the places I'd been
As I contemplated a middle name, I thought about the many beautiful places I had visited in my life, and narrowed it down to one special region of the United States: the Appalachian mountains. And then, I remembered this breathtaking hike that I had taken once in college at the Roan Mountain Balds in Tennessee.
The hike is a part of the Appalachian Trail and boasts awe-inspiring panoramic views of the Blue Ridge Mountains. In June, the rhododendron blooms attract folks from all over the country. The "roan," or reddish color of the mountaintops during this time of year, has been what many claim to be the origin of the mountain's namesake. It's one of the most beautiful places I've ever visited.
"Roan" was the perfect choice for my first child — Roan Mountain held such a special place in my heart, and I knew that one day, it would hold a special place in her heart, too.
When I got pregnant again, the process started over
I had my second child just 21 months after my first, and again, while I was pregnant, we found ourselves in the tedious process of choosing yet another first and middle name. By this time, our family had relocated from New York City to Asheville, North Carolina.
We'd traded our 500-square-foot, one-bedroom apartment in Queens for an old home that was double the size of our previous, surrounded by all shades of natural green. I don't take for granted the fact that I can step right outside onto the front porch and inhale crisp mountain air; even three years later, it still hasn't gotten old.
However, despite our decision being the right one for our family, my husband and I started to find ourselves grieving our pre-kid, city life. We missed weekends spent leisurely walking in parks throughout the metropolis, sipping fancy coffees, and finishing the night eating out and drinking at restaurants that served up cuisines and co*cktails from all over the world.
We had spent six years posing as city slickers, but whenever we needed a break, we pressed pause and retreated up the Metro-North. Just an hour or so on the train and we were in a whole different world, hiking and recharging. Without a doubt, the Hudson River Valley quickly became one of our homes-away-from-home — another special place in our book of life.
And so, as the clock ticked during the third trimester of my second pregnancy and the panic of choosing a first and middle name commenced, my husband offered the possibility of "Hudson" as our second child's middle name, and without any hesitation, I agreed. It was perfect, and when we were surprised with a second daughter, it fit her well.
I hope that my girls will delight in, not only the sounds of their names, but the pieces of their mother and father that reside within them — that make up who they are as people on this wondrous earth. By selecting these names, our hope is that our children will visit and re-visit these places and fondly remember the memories and stories told by us, their parents.
We also hope to bestow our love of nature as well as the lesson that it is constantly teaching us: that it is constant, and life is variable. We want them to appreciate the beauty and joy that life offers even in its most fleeting moments. A sure-fire way we can do that is by immersing ourselves in nature.
If our children do so, in return, they will be afforded a fuller life — one that is not perfect but is worth living, and that, I believe, is one of the greatest gifts we can give to our kids.
FAQs
Married Middle name options: Keep your current middle name. Replace your current middle name with your maiden last name (note, if you don't have a middle name you can move your maiden last name to create a new middle name) Create a double middle name using your current middle name and your maiden last name.
Do middle names get passed down? ›
In many cases in the United States, however, a person's middle name does not derive from relatives, but is used instead to honor close family friends or notable public figures.
Why do all of Jennifer Love Hewitt's kids have the middle name James? ›
In a 2020 interview with People, Hewitt explained why their children's names are so similar. “We both thought Atticus was a strong name,” she explained. “Autumn and Atticus both have the middle name, James, after Brian's grandfather. We thought it would be cute for them to share the same initials and middle name.”
Should middle name be on house deed? ›
However, while the omission or addition of a middle name or initial in an instrument affecting real property is generally considered immaterial, a variance in middle names or initials may result in defective record of title. A deed is of no effect unless delivered.
Do middle names count as legal names? ›
Since a person's middle name(s) or suffix is not considered part of the legal name by SSA, a middle name shown as part of the given name or a suffix shown as part of the family name can be omitted or entered in the middle name and suffix fields of the Enumeration system.
What are the disadvantages of not changing name after marriage? ›
If you end up having children with your new spouse, it may be that they take your husband's surname too. For starters, this might be confusing for your children. Not only this but, for a new mother, this can be tough to deal with, as you may want to share this part of you with them for an even stronger bond.
What is the significance of middle names? ›
Today, as Wilson notes, middle names serve much the same purposes they always have: they're a way to keep family names going and thus preserve relationships; they're a way to try something new or “put old names out to grass” without cutting the cord entirely.
Are middle names hereditary? ›
In many cases middle names are taken from the first or middle names of their parents or grandparents. Not so long ago, it was common for middle names to be a family name of one of their ancestors.
Does middle name matter? ›
Nope. The decision to give your child a middle name is yours alone. While many parents in the United States do give their baby a middle name, it's not a requirement. Some BabyCenter parents have said no to a middle name based on family naming traditions.
Can I give both my children the same middle name? ›
Is it acceptable for two sisters to give their children the same first and middle names, but different last names? Yes, particularly if the children are named after a grandparent or other relative. They might need different nicknames, however, if they are frequently together at family gatherings.
Personal life
In March 2012, Hallisay began dating his The Client List co-star Jennifer Love Hewitt. In June 2013, it was announced that Hewitt and Hallisay were engaged and expecting their first child. They married November 20, 2013, before the birth of their first child, a daughter, Autumn James.
How did Jennifer Love Hewitt get her middle name? ›
She got her first name from her older brother Todd Daniel Hewitt (b. November 8, 1970), who picked the name after a little blonde girl on whom he'd had a crush. Her mother selected Jennifer's middle name, Love (which she goes by offstage), from her best college friend.
Should the wife's name be on the house deed? ›
The typical reason to add your spouse's name to your deed is to remove your property from the time-consuming and costly probate process, guaranteeing your spouse will get the property when you die. However, this isn't automatically true, and there may be a more efficient way for you to accomplish the same goal.
Does it matter whose name is on the house? ›
Deeds and Title Ownership
Whether the deed and/or mortgage are in one spouse's name or both, it does not affect the property's classification as marital or separate. What matters most is when and how the property was acquired.
Is it better to put both names on house? ›
While each mortgage situation is different, often times it makes more sense to have both names because it allows for two income streams, which ultimately helps you qualify for your loan amount. With that being said, there are some loan products that make more sense to only have one person on the loan.
When you get married, what is your middle name? ›
A: It's long been tradition for the bride to take her husband's last name, and traditionally, she drops her middle name and keeps her last (her "maiden" name) as her middle name. Her husband's last name then becomes her new last name.
Does a woman drop her middle name when she gets married? ›
But back to the question: Though most ladies do choose to drop their middle name in favor of their maiden name when they marry, I wasn't aware of a tradition that said it was incorrect to do the reverse* — I thought both were equally acceptable options.
What happens to names after marriage? ›
According to prevailing jurisprudence, “a married woman has the option, but not a duty, to use the surname of the husband.” Therefore, upon marriage, married women have the option to continuously use her maiden name or: Her maiden first name and surname and add her husband's surname; or.
Does my middle name count as a given name? ›
A given name (also known as a forename or first name) is the part of a personal name that identifies a person, potentially with a middle name as well, and differentiates that person from the other members of a group (typically a family or clan) who have a common surname.
